Poetry

When Love took your hand

Remember the time you reached out….
And Love took your hand
Remember the time you cried…
And your tears were wiped away
Remember the time you fell…
And a hand pulled you up
Remember the time you hurt…
And the pain was eased
Remember the time it all fell apart…
Yet somehow it all came together in the end
Remember the time you were scared…
And yet you got through
Remember the time you thought no one cared…
And someone actually did
Remember the time you doubted yourself…
Yet your self shined through
Remember the time you wondered, ‘what is it all for?”….
And the reason appeared out of nowhere
Every time you are down,
Every time you doubt
Every time you are afraid…
Remember the time Love took your hand

 Want
 

I don’t want to be treated like a queen,
Nor a whore, nor a wife,
But like a Goddess, in the full-moon
Aspect of her life

 
I want to teased and tantalised
Seduced and sedated
Needed and needful
Quenched and abated
 

I want lingering kisses
And whispers til dawn
To be heard, to be worshipped
To be fawned upon
 

I want to be servant and master
And equal, one and the same
I want to be screamed
Out loud, in body and name
 

I want to be held through the messiness
And have my tears wiped away
To be told ‘it’s only human’
And ‘I love you anyway’

I want to be admired and respected
And held in high esteem
To be surrendered to longing
And awakened from the dream
 

I want to be held in the gaze
Of trusting eyes
Eyes that know no betrayal
And eyes that tell no lies
 

I want to lean into love
And feel it lean back
To feel no resistance
Nor failure, nor lack
 

I want no broken promises
Or long-winded vows
I want the answers in the being
Without the whys and hows
 

I want to sigh into togetherness
And hold my own space
I want to see my love reflected
In another’s face
 

I want to be touched all over
By a hot feather-mouth
And I want to be loved
From the inside out
 

I want to fall into an embrace
And to be held like a bird
Quivering into tenderness
Without even a word
 

I want trembling hands to adorn me
Cover me from head to toe
To be overwhelmed with the beauty
That only lovers know

Inside
 

I have seen, I have heard, I have felt
I have touched, and I have tasted
A thousand times, wine so fine
On lips on which its wasted
I have held in my hands stars like eyes
Of Gods in distant tales
I have captained a ship with a hundred men
That needed not wind nor sails
I have rode on the back of a dragon
And breathed fire on men at war
I have held in my arms a dying love
To be lost forever more
I have searched the faces of knowledge
For answers too hard to find
And I have woken in a world, a stranger
Here inside my mind
 

Parting words

 
Cry not for me, now I am gone
For during this lifetime I have been blessed
I have received insurmountable gifts and have known gratitude
I have laughed a lot and shared the company of good friends
I have walked barefoot among daisies and played in the mud
I have sung to the stars and bathed in moonlight
I have dreamed beautiful dreams and watched them come true
I have danced to music that rocked the very core of my soul
I have cried for another’s pain and have shared my own
I have been cradled by invisible arms and known faith
I have been touched by small kisses and held tiny hands
I have seen great beauty and known great love
Cry not for me, now I am gone
For this lifetime, I have been blessed

  

Anyway

  
Sometimes you will sing off key
Sing anyway
Sometimes you will trip over your feet
Dance anyway
Sometimes you will make no sense to those around you
Speak your truth anyway
Sometimes you will feel silly, foolish, or wrong
Be yourself anyway
Sometimes what you want to do won’t go exactly as planned
Do it anyway
Sometimes people won’t love you the way you want them to
Love them anyway
Sometimes you will be scared and want to give up
Keep going anyway
Sometimes you will fall, and fall again, and then again
Get up anyway

Beautiful Day

 
The rain seemed to never end
Viewless windows covered in wet
The sound went beyond soothing
Beyond monotony
And into that place where it becomes unheard

And the cold seeped under the doors
Through layers of warmth
And into the very bones of my being
The chill made me shiver
And silently giggle with delight

My face may have appeared somber
As I reviewed the week that was,
Sitting near the window
And tracing raindrop tracks
With one cold finger

I was tired, the weariness clear
In my half-lidded eyes
As tears prickled, but never fell
And my heart found strength
In the overness of it all

Yet in the midst of reverie,
Although no rainbow could be seen
There was hope
And a winner’s quiet smile
And it was a beautiful day

Success

To wake each morning and set out to do what you do with truth
To fall asleep each night with forgiveness in your heart even if your conscience is not clear
To look in the mirror and recognise who you see
To never be surprised when others love you
To trust your own advice
To hold your life, your self, all you are, all you have, and all that is in the highest regard
To be willing to grow more
To be open to do it another way
To be able to do it badly and laugh about it

Here for

I am not here to make you believe my truth, I am here to teach you how to discover your own

I am not here to outshine you, I am here to shine my own light in the hope that it will lead others out of their darkness

I am not here to judge you, nor to judge myself, I am here to embrace all that you are, all that I am and all that is

I am not here to be anything at all, I already am all I need to be.

I am not here to make plans, to pretend to know what I will be doing tomorrow or next week, or in five years, I am here to live a lifetime of moments, all piled on top of each other

I am not here to ‘get it right’, I am here to get it wrong with style, grace and humour.

I am not here to discover the meaning of life, or to know all the mysteries there are to know, I am here to allow the world to discover the mystery of me.

Love is………..

love does not hold tight or imprison
love lifts your wings to the stars
love does not overshadow
it sheds light in every corner
love does not make you worry
it soothes and releases fear
love does not keep you up at night
it cradles you in it’s arms and rocks you gently
love does not weigh heavy on your mind
it flutters like a butterfly through your heart
love does not ask you to change
it embraces you for every mistake you make
love does not lie or deceive
it is gently honest in all it says
love does not pretend to be anything else but love
it loves that it is love
love does not fade or die or end
it just sometimes moves to another time and place
love does not hide away
it is proud to be love
love does not consume or demand
it just is

Love-letter

 
To my love,
I feel you breathe inside me
Your warmth fills me to full
And your love keeps me safe

 
Let me be the one you turn to
When your heart is lonely
And sad is where you sit

Trust me to show you the magic
Of the everyday
And the way to your heart’s desires

I am the one you will wake with
Every morning you wake
And I will love you more each day

I will tell you each day
You are my beautiful light
And you will believe me
For the mirror never lies
Thank you for the love

Let Me Call You Sister

Born from different bodies
Yet from the same source
We share much more in common than we know
Let me call you sister
Our words sound so different
Yet say the same thing
And so we speak the same language
Let me call you sister
Our lives are worlds apart
Yet we both cry real tears
And laugh real laughs
Let me call you sister

We have followed different paths
Yet we will arrive
At the same destination
Let me call you sister

We ache for different reasons
Yet the aching feels the same
And we feel another’s pain, as our own
Let me call you sister
If you need my hand, it is here
If you need to be heard, I hear
And all I ask in return
Is you call me sister too

?????

 
Sometimes I just don’t know what to write
Yet feel a need to write
That there are words ready to pour right outta me
Into the world
although few will read them
I feel like they are going out
To millions
I think…what would I say if it were true?
What would I say if there were millions reading my words?
Would I speak of mundane things?
Of small grievances
And moments of discomfort?
Or would I slap them in the face
With profound messages
Of life and love and learning?
Would I speak of beauty and awe
And brilliance and magnifience?
Would I ache to get a message across,
To change lives with mere words?
And if so what words would I choose?
would I ask questions that make people think,
Or questions that make people not think, but feel?
Would I not ask, but tell,
And what would I tell?
What truth would I share?
How would I tell a million people to love,
To love BIG,
To forget all the bits that mean nothing,
To believe in their own wonderfulness,
And never forget the joy of wonder,
or the wonder of joy?
How would I tell them that there is no fight
worth fighting, if it means
Being untrue to your soul?
How would I tell them that they are MORE
More than this place they are at?
More than this body they wish were perfect?
More than this mind that cannot know all they wish to know
Yet knows all it needs to know?
More than what they own, what they do,
Who they are with, how they dress?
How would I say this?
And if I needed to be heard,
needed to be right….
would it hurt if they did not hear
Did not agree?
Or would it be enough to just say?

The Eternal Misfit

 
I don’t fit in
The eternal misfit
I did not match my family
And at one time I was good with this
And at one time I was not
Today I made vege soup and I got to thinking
That I could be one of those mothers that makes vege soup
And bakes cookies
I could buy an apron
And join the school committee
I could
But I won’t
I took my son to touch rugby last night
And there were mothers there
Who coached the team
And yelled from the side-lines
I got to thinking
I could be one of those mothers
That coaches the team
And knows all the rules
And everyone would think I was cool
I could
But I won’t
The other day my daughter hurt her foot
In the supermarket and I kneeled down
and I kissed it better
And her foot was so grubby
But I didn’t care
And I got to thinking
I could be one of those mothers
That is always kind and gentle
And never raises her voice
I could
But I won’t
I don’t fit in
I am little pieces of everything
All adding up to something
That no one has ever been
And sometimes I am good with this
And sometimes I am not

Not so Intrepid Journeyer

Okay, I stumble
Sometimes I outright fall
I don’t pick myself up so well every time
Either
I make mistakes
Sometimes the same ones
Over and over
…and wonder when will I learn?
Sometimes I feel like a fraud
Like I’m just faking happy…
and wise, and together
There are bits of me I have not healed
And have not even recognised
As in need of healing
Bits that I just want to ignore
And hope they heal themselves
I find that I am more and more okay
With all that is
Yet wonder, am I okaying this
Instead of feeling it?
Sometimes I feel that I am further away
Not closer to where I’m meant to be
And that all I have let go of
May have been who I was after all

Then I wake….
I look around me,
See the space I have created
And the little skin-babies I have birthed
I see the light that pours thru the sky-light
And I own it all…
not possess it, out of fear of loss
but own it as part of who I am
My space
My children
My light
My self
My life
…and it is sweet
and really is okay
And I do feel it

Life is Divine

Life is Divine
Like chocolate when you’re moody
Like the sun when you’ve seen too much rain
Like a cool breeze in the desert heat
Like a warm fire in the heart of winter
Life is Divine
Like the last kiss as he leaves for work
Like playing in puddles when you’re 5
Like the first time you smelled fresh hay
Like meeting someone you’ve never met, yet met
Life is Divine
Like music that rocks your very soul
Like falling into deep, deep love
Like being held as you cry big, fat tears
Like your first car, only shinier

Life is Divine
Like a movie that moves your world
Like poetry that doesn’t rhyme
Like floating in blue-green water
Like the sound of children’s laughter
Life is Divine

As a Child

As a child
Did I not stare out the window
Wondering why the sky is blue
And was I not a constant flow of ‘why?’
As I questioned the very air I breathed
Or the scent of summer
Did I not want to know
Why it was not daytime at night
And what suspended the fingernail moon
Or how the ocean, distant at one moment
Managed to silently creep closer
And as I grew
Did I ever discover
Exactly why the sky is blue
Or did I just
Stop wondering?

Just Write

Write like your heart was dowsed
Like the words would set it on fire

Write like your soul was aching
Like the words would fill the void

Write like your mind was still
Like the words would echo and sing

Write like your body was asleep
Like the words would make it dance

Write like the world would end
If the paper remained bare

Write like your life depended on it
For it just might

Just write

All crooked

I wish to paint my house burnt orange and purple
And paste sparkles and rainbows on the walls
I wish to wear flowers in my hair
And pink pyjama pants everywhere
I wish to laugh obnoxiously loud
And play with lego all day
I wish to eat off paper plates
And scatter glitter all over my floor
I wish to paint my face like a lion
And read comics under the covers with a torch
I wish to raise loud, precocious children
And feed them chocolate icecream for breakfast
I wish to travel to places where no one wants to go
And take boring photos that only I understand
I wish to do all this
And do it badly, all crooked and non-aesthetic
I wish to have people say ‘oooo, what did ya do that for?’
And reply ‘Dunno, but I sure didn’t do it for you’
I wish to wallow in displeasing others
And just please myself.

A Visit to the Dark

I do not ask of you to fix this
I wish you not to take it away
Just sit with me in my pain
So I know that it’s okay

Just hold my hand, for it is trembling
And chant ‘I love you’ in my ear
Wipe my tears, for they are plenty
And gently stroke my hair

I need to be in this place now
For I have been away too long
And I need to know that you can join me
For me, can you be strong?

This will not last forever
But I cannot do this on my own
So, I do not ask for you to fix this
I just don’t want to be here alone

Who I am

Do not ask me who I am
There are not enough words in any language
To describe all this
Or all that you are also

I could fill volumes upon volumes
Trying to phrase all that I contain
Yet it is better to let it gently unfold
Before the eyes of the world
To sit in wonderment as with each moment
Yet another facet shines
Another depth rises to the surface

Do not ask me who I am
I am above labels, above being named
There is never enough of me in mere words
Nor you, my friend

Art

I have a purple blanket on my bed
I lie on it, sharpened pencil in hand
Paper sprawled
Blank, white pieces of paper
Aching to be adorned

So I adorn
I scribble, I play
I pick up a compass and make circles,
Perfect circles
I entertwine them, overlap them
Geometric magic

I sketch my room, my shelf
Still life portraits
Of my sacred space
A moment in time, in history
Capturing now

I let my mind wander
To faraway magickal places
Where faeries sit
Beneath curvaceous trees
And dip toes in crystal water

So, I adorn white paper
I scribble, I scrunch
I play with lines and circles
I capture the now
And every so often
I make art…

Judgement Day

Well, it took me a while, took me a while to get here
But I’m not sorry the journey led me astray
And I have crossed many a raging river
And I have stumbled, faltered along the way
I did not always follow the easy path
And at times I walked in circles for days

So here I am, come look upon me
Yes I am your child, one of your very own
I may look different than you remember
But it is me and I have found my way home

No I did not always do exactly the right thing
I made mistakes time and time again
And I have caused many a hurt to others
But I always stayed to try to ease the pain
Once or twice I tried to push the river
And have cursed the sun, the dark and the rain

But here I am, come look upon me
Yes I am your child, one of your very own
I may look different than you remember
But I am yours and I have found my way home

What if

Questions that don’t really need answers….

What if there is no destination?
What if our only journey in life is the one back to ourselves?
What if we arrived at our soul? What would we find there?
What if our soul was filled with the souls of others who had journeyed back to themselves, journeyed home?
What would that be like?

What if this human journey involved being fully human?
Not above, or underneath, or kinda sideways of….
But fully in our human-ness?
What if the way to our soul was through being human?
What would that mean?

What if we were fully in our bodies,
Fully in our minds,
Fully in our hearts,
All at the same time?
Is that where the soul hides?

What if there is nothing to rise above
But the belief that we must rise above?
What if there is nothing to understand
But the belief we must understand?
What if there is nothing to do,
No test, no task, no right, no wrong
What if we just sat and just were?
Is that where the soul hides?

Empty Rooms

So I went to your house and opened the doors
Because you asked me to check
If the carpet had dried
And there were the empty rooms
And I remembered the first time
I visited you there
And the last time
On moving day
As we packed boxes and laughed and laughed
And I thought how time changes all
And how I do not like empty rooms

And I came home with empty rooms on my mind
And there was my son’s room
The day after I had left him at Boarding school
Empty
He had not made his bed
And his toys were still scattered about
And I remembered the first time
He had seen that room, eleven years ago
His eyes new to the world
And I thought how time changes all
And how I do not like empty rooms

Stepping into love

And she turned around
in the midst of her pain
when all had fallen away
and she sat amongst the ruins

she breathed deep
and filled her lungs,
then her heart,
with sweet breath,
breath of a new day
and she opened her eyes
and saw love

and she gathered her hope
her strength
and her grace
and walked tall
towards love
into love

she walked with a smile in her step
and a thank you in her eyes
and love embraced her,
held its arms open wide
and she stepped
into love

The Rainbow

Today I saw a rainbow
I saw it end to end
It came to announce the end of rain
Like a long-lost friend

The children stood at the window
Staring in kiddy awe
They had seen plenty of rainbows
But none like this one before

And as we gazed in wonder
My son announced I see two
And there it was…a double
Just as if one wouldn’t do

It stretched across hills and fields
Like it was always there
And as I stood with tears in my eyes
It began to disappear

“Aw” came the cry of children
And me too I must admit
It seemed too brief, I was not ready
To truly part with it

But like so much in life
I let go and began to smile
For rainbows are only treasures
‘Cos we see them only once in a while.

My Father’s Shadow

I remember dancing behind
As he walked
Darting in and out of his shadow
As it played on the ground before me
The sun was hot
And I believed the shadow would be cool
He never walked far in front
And he never held my hand
But I believe I would never again
Be comfortable in any other shadow
But that of my father’s

Simple dreams

Most others will rest in peace tonight
And wake with memories few
Of the night before and the dreams endured
Of things that aren’t quite true

But for all those ones who wake unmoved
There are others who wake with a scream
Bathed in tears from unreal fears
For these are not simple dreams

How Beautiful You Are

I want to stand you
Before the mirror
And hold you there
One hand resting on your shoulder
The other cupping your face
Say “look at these eyes…
see how they shine”
“look at this mouth,
so full of good words”
“look at this face,
and this smile”
“you are so beautiful”
And to hold you there
Until you break
Until you say “Yes,
I see…I see how beautiful I am”
And we cry with relief
That you see you, how I see you
That you see how beautiful you are

Sisterhood

Amazing moments
In quiet
Or in loud
Eyes meeting
and holding each other’s souls
In love….

Being in that space
Where you so get each other
And yet yearn to know more
Knowing and knowing
Growing and growing

Giggles and joy
music and magick
Mothering the grown woman
In each other
and mothering ourselves

Being young and old
all in one breath
and just being of no age
No limit
No restraint

Freedom

Sometimes I get lost a little

I fall off my path
And in finding my way back,
I wander down old, familar paths
Momentarily forgetting that they no longer serve me
That there was a time I chose a new path

And fought my way thru unfamilar territory
Thru scrub and undergrowth
Thorns and bramble
To find sparking dew-drops
And flowers of gold
And that there was a reason
I chose to find new ground

I forget sometimes, and get a little lost

But the new paths I have made
Are more travelled now
And well sign-posted
So it is easy to find my way back
And there is no fight
Only relief
For I know where the sparkling dew-drops
And flowers made of gold
Lay waiting

And I choose the path less travelled
Even if I get a little lost
From time to time

The Light

I was lost and felt I was alone
Like my mind, my self was not my home
I stood outside in my place in this world
Looked inside, saw a frightened little girl
Saw the moon that shines in the night
Asked her how will I ever find the light

And so I looked, I looked up to the sky
She did not tell, tho’ I kept on asking why
Held onto my heart in the deep of the night
I looked around but could not see the light

Then she said, ‘will you walk a while with me?
Open your eyes; I’ll shine the light to see
Stand beside me in my place in the sky
I will not tell, so do not ask me why’
Hold out your hand, I will take it willingly
Hold out your heart and I will set you free’

And so I walked, I walked up to the sky
She did not tell, so I did not ask why
Opened my heart in the deep of the night
Looked inside, saw a glimmer of a light

She said ’don’t fear, for fear will blind your sight
And do no harm and receive only what’s right
I’ll stand beside you in your place in this land
I will not tell but you will understand
I am the moon that shines in the night
And I am the sun, the bringer of the light’

And so I walked, I walked through this land
She did not tell, but now I understand
Held out my heart in the deep of the night
Looked inside and there I found the light.

 

P.S: all works Copyright Phoenix Light, if you want to copy and share please put my name on it.

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2 responses to “Poetry

  1. Excellent poetry! Thank you for sharing it! 🙂

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